Its been 7 months since we got married . And of course, I’ve heard all kind of thoughts and opinions about it, and something I hear a lot its the idea of “having everything figured out” before taking this big step. Well I didn’t have anything figured out, I still don’t. Did I rushed my decision? did I marry too young?.
As you know, Im against all of this “should have done by a certain age ” kind of life: ”you are supposed to finish high school, go to college, work for some years, travel a little bit, meet someone, get married, buy a house, have children, (there’s a weird space of time here because you are raising little humans so it might take a couple of years), then you retire and live happily until you are done”. I stopped at having a degree and I started to do things as I felt I should have done them, not the easiest choice but as it is for now, I can’t complain
For every person, life works in a very different way, and its fine, as long as they are happy, enjoying each moment. What it questions me is the fact that many people think that because I got married, life won’t be as flexible and liberating as before, and I’ll have to start to think different about how I do my things.
We had a long relationship before getting married, living in different Countries for some years and having our brakes, but at the end we felt like it was time to start something together. we thought of it as way of creating a society, where both of them have similar responsibilities and we promised to be there for each other for the rest of our lives (I know that last part is a little bit dramatic). We didn’t have a steady job, nor a house, or a secure future, we just felt like having each other would make things better, and it did!. We still have to figure so many things out, now we have someone on the side, supporting and helping, its the best society I could ever thought of.
My advice here is simple, don’t wait until you have everything figured out to take a new step, if you feel more than love (don’t get married just because you are in love, it goes deeper than that) go for it, believe in your gut if you feel that that’s the next step on your list, even if you feel like you are jumping over some other things. There are many times in life when you need to take the risk, and jump into a big step. Maybe on the contrary you are stuck in a relationship that doesn’t take you anywhere but you are afraid of ending up alone. Well, don’t be, loneliness is not a bad thing if you know how to take advantage of it. Don’t be in a place where you don’t want to be just because “you are supposed to”.
This is the perfect time to give a huge shout to all of those who are figuring how to live their own lives, I know it might be frightening and a little bit upsetting (believe me, Ive made very weird choices in life and I’m still trying to figure out half of it). Be proud of your choices in life, some times you might be taking bad decisions, eventually you will know what to do (or someone will make you see it, thanks to that people too). Listen to advices but don’t take them too seriously, live life at your own pace, at the end we are all here learning something.